It's Here.

A very close childhood friend of mine posted that his mother died yesterday.

She was always kind to me, someone who was a part of my life in a small amount of quantifiable time and made a significantly positive impression that I can still feel the impact of today.

I hadn't spoken to her for years.

I'm in L.A. 

The place that we dream of as entertainers when we're from anywhere else but L.A.

I put my head down to work. I become e x t r e m e l y focused on the task at hand. So much so that I forget that the world is still spinning around me; that when I look up and it's a different place, I feel surprised.

People are dying. 

My grandparents will die. My parents will die. My brothers will die. I will die.

Beings that I am totally unaware of are dying every day. Bugs are dying. Plants are dying. Fish are dying. 

This journey, as far as I know, has a destination of Death.

It's just that... In my head, I imagine that I won't arrive at that conclusion until much later- after I've done everything that I want.

The reality is that it this journey will end without my consent. People will die without my consent.

So in this post, I want to say a few things.

I live for happiness. I live for positive moments and good vibes. I live for facing fear. I live for mistakes. I live for now.

There are occurrences in my life that allow space for negativity to survive, and sometimes the only thing I can do is observe it, and go back to work.

I learned that I am the purveyor of my reality- and with that understanding comes the limitation of having zero power over others. I can influence, I can suggest, I can encourage... And I am unable to directly change anyone.

There are people that I will never interact with in person again. So, if you're reading this and it's too late, I think we would've been great friends. I believe we all can, and I hope in the future you reach out to everyone that you love and think about because people hardly get the flowers while they can still smell them.

I love you.

Fern The Freeman sends his regards