A
very close childhood friend of mine posted that his mother died yesterday.
She was
always kind
to me, someone who was a part of
my life
in a small amount of quantifiable time and made a significantly positive impression that I can still feel the impact of today.
I hadn't spoken to her for years.
I'm in L.A.
The place that we dream of
as entertainers when
we're from anywhere else
but L.A.
I put my head down to work. I become
e x t r e m e l y focused on the task at hand. So much so that
I forget that the world is still spinning around me; that
when I look up and it's a different place, I feel
surprised.
People are dying.
My grandparents will die.
My parents will die.
My brothers will die. I will die.
Beings that I am totally unaware of are dying every day. Bugs are dying. Plants are dying. Fish are dying.
This journey,
as far as I know, has a
destination of Death.
It's just that... In my head, I imagine that I won't arrive at
that conclusion until much later-
after I've done everything that I want.
The reality is that it
this journey will end without my consent. People
will die without my consent.
So in this post, I want to say a few things.
I live for happiness.
I live for positive moments and good vibes.
I live for facing fear.
I live for mistakes.
I live for now.
There are occurrences in
my life
that allow space for negativity to survive,
and sometimes the only thing I can do is observe it, and go back to work.
I learned that I am the
purveyor of my reality- and with that understanding comes the limitation of having
zero power over others. I can influence, I can suggest, I can encourage...
And I am
unable to directly change anyone.
There are people that I will never interact with in person again. So, if you're reading this
and it's too late,
I think we would've been great friends.
I believe we all can, and
I hope in the future you reach out to everyone that you love and think about because people hardly get the flowers while they can still smell them.
I love you.
Fern The Freeman sends his regards